TheConfidante In the Media
When intimacy wanes...
It is a wonderful gift to navigate an uncertain world knowing someone “has our back” despite our flaws, failings and mistakes. We fare much better when we share the load of life’s challenges with a significant other.
Healthy intimacy was beautifully described by one of my mentors as being “naked to the soul”. It is a realisation of our inherent design to submit with vulnerability to enjoy a sense of safety and security based on trust.
This connection means we can count on and turn to our loved one for support and love. We flourish when we allow people into our emotional world and share physical and spiritual intimacy with our partner, facilitating an inexplicably beautiful and mysterious bond. This week is a comprehensive approach to this very important topic that could well improve your own mental health.
The common snags that cause intimacy to fade are:
It is so normal for intimacy levels to wax and wane throughout life’s challenges that involve lack of sleep throughout parenting, illness, stress and uncertainty during a pandemic.
There are alarming terms such as “intimacy anorexia” that certainly provide the shock factor as a descriptor to withhold intimacy and starve your partner of all the elements of love in an act of revenge or as a protective mechanism.
Like many successful couples in the counselling room, the disconnection may indicate a simple need to realise apathy and fine-tune your communication and conflict skills versus this frightening diagnosis requiring long term intensive therapy.
Couples that do maintain a consistent level of intimacy realistically anticipate adversity. They are also admired for their daily small efforts such as attentive listening and ritualistic or spontaneous gestures that maintain a concrete foundation from which they can sturdily weather all storms.
Furthermore, not only do they still flirt with each other, keep themselves fit and as alluring as possible, they weave the very unscientific “respect and kindness” into daily interactions that have a dramatic long-term positive effect.
What can you do to rebuild intimacy?
It is essential to evaluate your individual approaches through neuroplasticity in harnessing the power of your mind which is fabulously renewable and fundamentally, changeable.
Here are my 10 top tips:
Our inherent relational design means we are healthiest when we are intentionally contributing fully to our chosen person and the wonderful joy when they concurrently do the same.
Joanne Wilson is the Relationship Rejuvenator and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). She is a neuropsychotherapist inspiring the community for thriving and dynamic relationships that impact generations for mental well-being. Find out more at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
Joanne will be your Confidante, enabling you to speak freely in complete confidence and serenity. An integrated approach tailored to your specific needs will be utilised.
Joanne will be your Confidante, enabling you to speak freely in complete confidence and serenity. An integrated approach tailored to your specific needs will be utilized. Approaches such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy may be incorporated.
Relationship Specialist for individuals and Couples online around the world and servicing areas for face to face sessions including Caloundra, Noosa, Noosaville, Buderim, Mountain Creek, Gympie.
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