Take out today’s to-do list and scan it for where the people you care most about are listed.
I agree with you. Your wife, husband, partner, children, grandparents, grandchildren and bestie don’t need to go on the list as they’re always there.
But are they?
It’s fair enough that the following elements of life’s journey take priority at times:
A common theme faced by couples in my counselling room include the well-dressed power couple in their early 40’s, Valma and Brett. They’ve both previously been married and share custody of their combined number of four children aged between four and sixteen. They arrive with difficulties navigating co-parenting, finding quality time together and managing conflict.
It is natural for such couples to profess, “My children will always come first to me”. There’s nothing wrong with this, however, your primary relationship with your partner is that which nurtures and supports you the most, and ultimately helps you be a better parent. Whilst each child in your family may feature specific challenges that require attention, blended families fare better when the couple relationship is prioritised which avoids unnecessary alliances. The couple back each other, have shared resources and find clarity in who disciplines who and when etc. Having a safe emotional foundation from which each partner can rely in the tough role as a parent is fundamental!
Of course, this applies to parents of all types of families.
Putting your relationship first is a daily intention that does not necessarily mean hard work! Talk with your partner about maintaining the health of your bond. Prioritising your relationship’s well-being will give you both more strength to tend to the needs of your business, children and everything else.
Some will say, “All my long hours at work are for my family.” It sure is a swing versus a work/life balance. Ensure this belief is not tied to your identity. This can result in losing those special to you whilst focussing only on the things you can see such as your money and defining those muscles at the gym.
The emotional safety from your intimate partnership and the love and support from your family and buddies provide the launch pad to your success!
Joanne Wilson is the facilitator of the Relationship Rejuvenator online mini-courses and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). Find out more at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
The 10-Day Relationship Recharge is back by popular demand and open now for registration!
Photo by Donald Giannatti on Unsplash
Joanne will be your Confidante, enabling you to speak freely in complete confidence and serenity. An integrated approach tailored to your specific needs will be utilised.
Joanne will be your Confidante, enabling you to speak freely in complete confidence and serenity. An integrated approach tailored to your specific needs will be utilised. Approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Solution Focussed Therapy and Emotionally Focussed Therapy may be incorporated.
Relationship Specialist for Individuals and Couples online around the world and servicing areas for face to face sessions including Caloundra, Noosa, Noosaville, Buderim, Mountain Creek, Gympie.