Death, taxes and the need to be loved are the sure things of life.
 
As Queensland prepares to recognise Mental Health week from 5 October, what a perfect time to recognise therapists all over the world impacting generations. I too, have the privilege of journeying with couples particularly with children supporting them rediscover how to effectively connect and mentor their young family with a beautiful, flourishing and cohesive connection, particularly with healthy conflict cycles.
 
One great reminder I want to share is contemplating how we sought safety, learnt, felt and expressed love in the first place. We thrive on being loved, cared for and needed. A loss of connection in a relationship often feels like a near death experience for many. Have you ever taken time out to wonder:
 
Who did you go to for comfort as a child and could you count on them?
Were they available for you at critical times?
Did these people ever betray you or let you down?
What did you learn about connection /comfort from these people?
Did you ever turn to alcohol, drugs, sex, material things for comfort?
Have there been any particular traumatic incidences in your previous relationships?
 
It makes complete sense that these experiences can shape our current relationships. They can subconsciously influence any insecurities, unrealistic expectations and explain why we find ourselves self-medicating with alcohol, drugs, sex or materialism or screen addiction. On the other hand, many people have been fortunate to enjoy a wonderful, loving and connected family of origin upon which to launch themselves to relationship success.
 
If you’re in a relationship, I wonder if there have been times when you have been able to be vulnerable and find comfort with your partner? What a gift that is.
 
It is an incredible honour when couples or individuals entrust me with their challenges, pain and dreams. Your emotional and physical well-being flourish when you enjoy dynamic, fun and connected relationships. It is never too late to begin being the best version of yourself in yours!
 
In the theme of taking time to boost your mental wellbeing, check out the www.qldmentalhealthweek.org.au website for the Instagram Take Time challenge. They’re inviting people across Queensland to share what it looks or feels like when they ‘take time’ for the things that boost their mental wellbeing.
 
Your post must be shared on Instagram using #QMHWTakeTime and can capture anything from a moment to an artwork. You might like to show how important it is to be active, keep learning, give, connect, enjoy the moment, or care for our planet. Just be creative, be yourself, and join the conversation.
 
The challenge will run in the lead up to Queensland Mental Health Week until Thursday 3 October 2019. There will be six prize draws during this time with all entrants having the chance to win!

​Joanne Wilson is a neuropsychotherapist, relationship specialist, radio co-host, workshop facilitator, guest speaker and weekly columnist for the Sunshine Coast Daily.

Contact Jo at www.theconfidantecounselling.com or via email. Listen in to her podcast discussing these articles and more, "Is This Love?"

How much does a sport like netball and being a part of any team sport enhance your relationship skills? Plenty! Here are my thoughts on this topic as requested by the Sunshine Coast Daily.
 
At the time, I didn’t realise how much playing team sport as a child has contributed to strengthening my social skills to build healthy relationships. Aside from developing coordination (not sure if I ever mastered this one!), and benefiting from fitness, here’s what I learnt to do:

• Reflect on my performance when I contributed to losing.
• Deal with “ball hogs”, bullies, witness on field tantrums and hear swearing from others when they didn’t win.
• Listen and respect my elders such as the coach, referee and sports officials (even when we didn’t agree).
• Enjoy comradery, to build each other up “when the chips are down”.
• Positively bond with other females as they’re particularly important to women.
• Talk out problems with my teammates either about the game or otherwise.
• Build tenacity and resilience to grind through gruelling training sessions.
• Not rely on a screen for entertainment.
• Enjoy confidence when we achieved as a team.
• Play by the rules, learn consequences and personal boundaries.
• Experience the joy of sharing the adventure of visiting new places with others.
• Notice a consistent correlation in academic success when I applied the same principles of hard work and dedication.
• Appreciate “muscle memory” when I’ve continued to exercise as an adult.
• Take advantage of being inspired by healthy and fit lifestyle mentors.

 
How does this translate to adult relationships? I now have:

• A greater ability to work, live and tolerate people with different values, backgrounds and idiosyncrasies.
• Insight my harsh words cannot be rewound and the need to own my poor selfish behaviour
• An understanding that what motivates me, may not inspire someone else.
• The joy of seeking to provide care and love in a way that is different to mine.
• A greater chance of successfully placating someone else facing loss, disappointed or distressed.
• No problem seeking wisdom from mentors who consistently enjoy a great marriage or relationships.
• The benefit of fulfillment of self-sacrifice to support someone else.
• The knowledge that exercise is the best stress, depression and anxiety medication that contributes to being the best wife, mother, daughter and neuropsychotherapist I can be!

​Joanne Wilson is a neuropsychotherapist, relationship specialist, radio co-host, workshop facilitator and guest speaker. Contact www.theconfidantecounselling.com or via email. Look out for my new podcast discussing these articles and more, "Is This Love?"

Everyone knows change takes effort. If change were easy we’d all be mighty perfect. Setting goals, even if it means improving ourselves, typically involves stepping way outside of our comfort zones. It’s a lot easier to hide where it’s cosy. The brain certainly enjoys helping us stay in the “comfort of our discomfort”.

Achieving goals is a pretty great thing. It helps grow you as a person and instil your sense of purpose. If you set some mutual goals with your partner you can grow a deeper connection through shared effort.

Read on for what I think is a mighty fine way of approaching your dreams and desires either as an individual or couple in 2017...