Too Difficult to say this...

Ever had a conversation with someone you wish went differently?  Ever avoided saying what you really feel because you’re afraid of how they will react?

I had the opportunity to present this “gutsy” topic to a College Leadership Group recently so here are our insights from the day.

Difficult conversations are conversations with other individuals where there may be differences of opinion or the topic is confronting and life changing.  Feelings and emotions potentially run high, and the stakes are large.

Such difficult conversations are a natural part of life. It is likely that we will all encounter these situations multiple times during our lives so why not practise refining your approach NOW!

Difficult topics could be sex, sexual orientation, masturbation, drugs, alcohol, academic difficulties, mental challenges, getting pregnant or not getting pregnant, work and money.   

Ways we often find ourselves dealing with Difficult Conversations are to:

• delay it 
  
• avoid it all together
  
• text it
  
• use inappropriate online “Apps”, sometimes using an anonymous approach 
  
• use Distractions such as the TV, work or screens in their various forms!
  

What about secrets?  People often keep secrets in fear, guilt or shame. These are things we hide and are afraid to have known.  Secrets are different to seeking a trusted person to confide in for support.

The Disadvantages of keeping certain secrets and NOT having certain conversations that might be difficult are:

• Drain and sap our strength
  
• Neuroscience proves it exacerbates stress on your brain
  
• They can isolate us (you are secretly isolated)
  
• No matter how much you avoid them they eventually SEEP out through the cracks, evident in unusual behaviour,         anger, bitterness, hurt or cynicism
  
• They create shame and guilt
  
• Create blurry boundaries about what it true and what is not
  

We are created “relational” beings, so have courage not to journey alone and take this thoughtful approach to your next Difficult Conversation.

Here’s my handy MAP to help to scroll down and navigate your journey to approach Difficult Conversations, entitled 
 “MAP TO BE FOOL PROOF on DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS” – Look forward to your feedback!  
(Download the PDF from your mobile device or here below from your PC).

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