​As a specialist in Relationship Therapy, how could you not resist picking up a book, “First, Kill all the Marriage Counselors”?
 
It turns out, what a great read! The author Laura Doyle,  self-described “feminist and former shrew” only consults with females in troubled relationships. She provides Six Intimacy Skills to support women with insight to evaluate their own attitudes and behaviour that she advises men are usually reacting to!
 
Whilst this one is for the chicks, I know you blokes will want to take a peek: 
 
Doyle’s very candid and rather witty book eludes that she has personally experienced Marriage Therapists as too controlling and directive instead of taking a more nurturing coaching style. Here’s my overview of her Six Intimacy Skills:
 
SKILL ONE: REPLENISH YOUR SPIRIT WITH SELF CARE

1. Make a list of 20 things that delight you and carve out time to do 3 things in the next week. (You are encouraged to make more time for this, do what you enjoy and be responsible for getting your work done.)
2. Focus on your own desires. It's not your partners job to make you happy. Entertain the ideas of your list of "I want....." Instead of why you can't or it won't work. You absolutely can overcome resistance or fear of jumping to conclusions as to why it's impossible.  
3. Express your desires in the way that inspires. "I would love it if..." Take out the "you"...
4. Girl chat. Call a trusted friend who can also support your own desires. 

Therapy has the power to transform lives, save relationships, and treat mental illness. In Australia, therapy is often still regarded as something for “crazy” people. Nothing could be further from the truth!  Counselling can help treat mental illness, and that's a good thing. It also does so much more. No matter how emotionally healthy you are, psychotherapy can make life better.

Americans have embraced this ethic, with 27 percent of the population seeking Counselling at least once. In Australia, by contrast, few people seek therapy to better their lives, and even people with mental illness don't' seek the help they need. Among the mentally ill, an astonishing 65% do not seek the mental health help they need. If you're on the fence about therapy, it's time to make up your mind and consider seeking help to achieve the life of your dreams. Here are six reasons therapy is absolutely cool: 

1. It's the Preferred Choice of the Privileged
Step back for a moment and envision a person in therapy. If you've bought into the stigma of mental illness, you probably picture a wild or dotty type person! But for Americans, therapy is synonymous with celebrity and money. The most privileged people routinely seek out therapy because they know that therapy helps propel them to the life they want. If you admire those you consider successful and famous, you'd be well-served to follow their lead and seek out a therapist!

2. It Can Help You Achieve Your Dreams
Everyone feels stuck from time to time.  There's no magic solution to achieving your dreams, and no one else can meet your goals for you! You are the expert in your life.  A Counsellor however, can help sort out what's holding you back and empower you to stop procrastinating to begin living the life you want by rebuilding self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth.

3. People In Therapy Are Healthier
Anxiety, stress, and sadness are all correlated with worse health – and even with dying younger! A therapist can help you get control of your emotions so you can live a happier life. Even better, by talking through things with a therapist, you'll develop coping skills that can help you healthily deal with whatever life throws your way. Encouraging new patterns of neural circuitry, pathways and networks allow you to relate in new healthier more resilient ways. 

4. Psychotherapy Means Better Relationships
No relationship is perfect, but every relationship has room for improvement. You and your partner – not your parents, your bank account, or your job – control the direction of your relationship. Counselling helps heal insecure attachment styles fostering healthy relationships. A therapist can help you each sort through your role to arrive at a happier, more loving relationship – not to mention a better sex life.

5. Psychotherapy Clients ARE Normal
While it's true that people with serious mental health disorders need therapy, it's equally true that the majority of people who go to Counselling do not have a mental illness. Just as you go to the doctor or dentist for your annual check-up even when you feel fine, a regular fortnightly or monthly session with a therapist can serve as a check-in for your emotional health.

6. Break Family Cycles
Our childhood environment shapes so much of who we are - like it or not! The exciting aspect of psychotherapy is an external perspective on helping choose those parts of your culture you wish to flourish in your future generations and those you don’t.  Furthermore you can learn to provide healthy mirroring and make conscious choices about the best care possible for your own children. 

The only way to end the stigma of therapy is to be willing to go to Counselling yourself. If you need help sorting out your goals, achieving better relationships, or just getting better control of your emotions, therapy can help. It changes lives every day, and it can change yours, too.

Joanne Wilson is a professional and caring Psychotherapist based on the Sunshine Coast who provides prompt expertise.  Joanne specialises in Relationships and their associated challenges.  Clients around Australia often seek assistance via Skype, Phone or Iphone Facetime.  Contact details are: 0499991884 or [email protected]