We've all heard that "Jealousy is a curse"! You may have also read that "Envy is the art of counting another's blessings instead of your own."
How about this one?
"A flower never thinks of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms".
Jealousy wilts your relationships.
The most well known form of jealousy is the sense of rivalry and suspicion. The unpleasant apprehension of infidelity.
Interestingly, what I commonly notice amongst couples I work with is their envy of each other's:
- amount of spare time
- natural talent and skills
- advantageous upbringing
- self esteem
- earning capacity
- easier work life with greater pay?
Any of these examples evident in your garden of love? Do you notice any resentment infiltrating your relationship, causing it to wither and potentially die?
If so, although often unpleasant, be grateful as these emotions are a gift!
Uncomfortable feelings as a result of jealousy are a clue or "alert button" to what is really going on such as:
For example, do you long to have the trusting close friendships your partner enjoys? Why not explore the associated emotions? Is it an invitation to courageously entertain the idea of being vulnerable to make new friends for a support network of your own?
Maybe you wish you had as much downtime your partner has? Do you need to have a respectful discussion around roles and responsibilities and any feelings of being "ripped off" or "worn down"?
Why not direct feelings of envy or jealousy into motivation and change toward a blazing and colourful landscape with no regrets. Don't let it choke you and your relationship.
Use it for a driving force! Give yourself the permission to unpack jealousy with curiosity. Start trail blazing alongside your life partner and stand proudly alongside all the other tall poppies. That's what you deserve.
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Joanne Wilson is the Relationship Rejuvenator and author of Renovate Your Relationship – All The DIY Tools For Your Most Important Project ($29.99). She is a neuropsychotherapist inspiring the community for thriving and dynamic relationships that impact generations for mental well-being. Find out more on her online courses at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash
Joanne will be your Confidante, enabling you to speak freely in complete confidence and serenity. An integrated approach tailored to your specific needs will be utilised.
Joanne will be your Confidante, enabling you to speak freely in complete confidence and serenity. An integrated approach tailored to your specific needs will be utilized. Approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy may be incorporated.
Relationship Specialist for Individuals and Couples online around the world and servicing areas for face to face sessions including Caloundra, Noosa, Noosaville, Buderim, Mountain Creek, Gympie.