Peering through the lens of a bloke in a relationship...

With much excitement, I’ve renamed this month - Audacious August. What daring and courageous risks would this thrill-seeking columnist be taking now you ponder? You guessed it, I’m precariously peering life through the lens of the other side. I’m bravely entering the foreign world of being an Australian manly man! Furthermore, being a macho beefcake navigating love and relationships.
 
I feel it’s time to support you blokes in areas such as understanding every word we are NOT saying as well as a few expert tips on getting all the love you need. Yes, I do know what your version of love is! Wink.
 
As a woman and relationship therapist, I’ve heard all the snide jokes. Here’s one: “Menopause, menstrual cramps, mental illness, mental breakdowns…ever notice that all of your problems begin with men?”.  What about, “While creating men, God promised women that a good and ideal man would be found in all corners of the world, then He made the earth round.” I’ll leave it at just the two but leave you with a few questions about men that are continually investigated in the counselling room: Why:

• Do many find talking so challenging?
• Don’t they remember to connect and communicate before physical intimacy?
• Do they anger so easily?
• Don’t they feel admired so consistently?
• Do they so often feel such an intense financial pressure?
• Don’t they express their emotional needs very frequently?
• Do they seem to hide their emotions until they’re really frustrated?
• Don’t they have many facial expressions to help us out?`

 
Whilst I agree we can’t stereotype the idiosyncrasies and mysteries of the Australian male, these are consistent themes I notice. Just to clarify, some fellas talk even more than their shy sheila and absolutely do some women have a higher libido than their stallion.
 
We already know that intimacy in relationships is fostered in deep sharing and empathic responding which makes sense where it all goes wrong. If you take nothing else from this series, what is for sure is that women feel more intimate when their partners display understanding, validation, and caring. What’s fascinating for me is that men thrive on protecting and achieving all these things however as for both sexes, don’t always get it right.
 
I can’t wait to delve into all these challenges of being an Aussie man in relationship for the well-being of all throughout Audacious August and beyond!
 
So fellas, email me your burning questions for support during Audacious August. Bewildered ladies, feel free to forward any contemplations you find unsettling for this series too! You will remain anonymous!
 
Joanne Wilson is a neuropsychotherapist, relationship specialist, radio co-host, workshop facilitator and guest speaker. Contact www.theconfidantecounselling.com or via email. Look out for my new podcast discussing these articles and more, "Is This Love?"