TheConfidante In the Media
We’re in the theme of single, dating and those early days of pairing up. So, now I’m wondering if after the initial excitement of new romance, have you ever found yourself disagreeing with the opposite sex and been absolutely confused about why they’re focusing on something you feel is so irrelevant?
Who’s heard the cliché “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”? Try “Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth. Deal with it.”
As you enter into a relationship with the opposite sex you’ll become intimately familiar with how two humans of opposite gender can approach the same issue in radically different ways. It turns out that this isn’t just a cliché, a bad joke, or even confirmation bias. The truth is, men and women do think differently, and for one very simple reason:
They have different brains.
I’m not suggesting their brains are entirely different organs. That would be weird. It’s the way they're wired and physically different.
Let’s look at how these variances result in why men like to channel surf and why women can talk so much.
Researchers have been able to identify some super fascinating information about the structural, chemical, genetic, hormonal and functional brain differences between the male and female brains. Some of the latest research tells us the brain differences are genetically hard-wired right from the beginning—at conception, even before the influence of hormones. The exposure to hormones may well then determine to what scale a “masculine” or “feminine” a brain becomes. I do know some guys who can talk more than a female!
Men’s brains end up about 10% bigger (I’ll leave that alone!). Women have larger limbic systems and a thicker connection between the left and right side of the brain. It seems men have better connections between front and back.
What does all this have to do with our personalities, thoughts and feelings?
In a nutshell … everything!
When you know how this wiring affects so many things, suddenly it can make some level of sense.
Let’s cut straight to the important factor that men have over two times the space allocated to sex drive in their hypothalamus than women. I’m wondering if the fellas would agree that sexual thoughts and references flicker in their visual cortex all day? Women's sex centre in the hypothalamus is much smaller, and connected to the nurturing, connection and belonging circuits of the brain.
Another example, everyone “knows” that women can be more “emotional” than men. This is an oversimplification — women are more empathetic than men, meaning they’re better at understanding and responding to emotions around them thanks to that larger limbic system (emotional centre) of the brain.
What about this cliché; women can multitask, men can’t. That’s nonsense, right? Nope! This is down to that thicker connection between left and right hemisphere. Women are able to handle multiple tasks at once, whereas men’s brains are geared more towards breaking a problem down into parts and solving them one at a time. They are wired more for perception and co-ordinated actions
Before I get angry letters; that’s not to say men can’t multitask, it’s just not as easy for them.
Or my personal favourite:
Hands up all the ladies reading this who’ve seen a man sitting around not doing much, wondering what deep thoughts they’re lost in!
Hands up all the men who’ve just been zoning out and get frustrated when they’re asked fifty times what they’re thinking!
Guess what? There’s a reason for this too!
Scans of over 1000 brains have revealed that men’s brains actually do go idle a lot easier than women. It’s been said 70% of an idle man’s brain will go “dark”, meaning it’s not doing much, if anything. Seventy percent.
By contrast, only 10% of a woman’s brain will go inactive — even when she’s sleeping.
So yes, ladies — your man really is thinking “nothing” when he’s sitting there staring blankly at the TV. And no, men, your lady is not trying to annoy you. She genuinely can’t fathom sitting there not thinking anything, because that’s simply not how her brain do!
One thing she does do is have greater hippocampal activity which involves memory, so whatever you do, do; she’ll remember!
As Neuroscience is just beginning to understand the great mystery of gender differences in the brain, I’m sure you can see they are not in competition, not just compatible but complementary Take advantage of these inherent strengths to become a united force that you’d otherwise not accomplish on your own. You need each other!
Joanne will be your Confidante, enabling you to speak freely in complete confidence and serenity. An integrated approach tailored to your specific needs will be utilised.
Joanne will be your Confidante, enabling you to speak freely in complete confidence and serenity. An integrated approach tailored to your specific needs will be utilised. Approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Solution Focussed Therapy and Emotionally Focussed Therapy may be incorporated.
Relationship Specialist for Individuals and Couples online around the world and servicing areas for face to face sessions including Caloundra, Noosa, Noosaville, Buderim, Mountain Creek, Gympie.