Guilty of The Technology Trap

Illustration:  Amanda Oleander

I’m guilty!   I’m the first one to admit to being amused or mesmerized for too long by a certain hand held device portraying enviable, captivating pictures, data or ideas - whilst my own family may be seeking my attention. Shocking I know, but I'm making massive changes!

Maintaining healthy relationships has become very challenging nowadays with a general acceptance in the number of breakdowns being experienced globally.  Research has shown there has been a direct relationship between breakdown and social media usage. As we continue to enjoy social networking, we should remember that it may affect our relationships negatively. 

Technology advancing at lightening speed has a great impact on the way people do things. It is not only businesses that use social media to market their products but the way people communicate have also changed dramatically. Many people are using social media networks as the main channels of communications. Billions of dollars are being spent on social media every year targeting singles and couples alike and this is a clear indicator on how active people are in terms of social networking. However, 67% of respondents in the last Relationships Australia Relationships Indicator Survey who said they frequently feel lonely regularly use SMS as a method of communicating with friends, family and/or a potential partner. Such networks as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Flickr, Instagram, Google+ etc. are among the most active social media networks.

There are different ways on how you can prevent social media from breaking your relationship with your partner, family members or friends. Some of these include:

• Avoid sending messages that are attached with emotion. The reader will not understand the emotional tone that is accompanied with the message. If you want to send a heart-felt message, meet with them personally or give them a call!

• Most messages you post on social media will have an impact of your relationship. Therefore you should take responsibility of every message you share or post!

• Avoid sharing your private matters on social media. Many people rush to post the failures of their partners or how unhappy their relationship is. This is very dangerous.  If you have an issue with your partner, try as much as possible to communicate with them, someone you trust or a Counsellor.

In Counselling, we encourage people to create their own customized rules to prevent social media infiltrating their relationships and use it to enhance their connection. Here are some ideas for setting boundaries that we've found effective:  

1. No smart phones allowed in the bedroom
2. Redirect work phone calls to a colleague or subordinate on specified days or evenings  
3. Prohibiting screen time past 8:00pm (put them in a technology box at the door)
4. Delete the offending “app” from your smart phone for a set period of time to disrupt unhealthy patterns.  Replace it with one that encourages a new activity together such as fitness goals.  Watch this space for up-coming romance apps!
5.  Incorporate use of technology for private romantic gestures or methods for gratitude.  Share your latest "app" find with your partner so they're always included.
6. Make their day by “posting” positive attributes about the people in your world!  Take out your frustrations about the   others in other forms such as exercise!
   

Wonder what ideas you can contribute?

If you have Children, model behaviour and respect for others you would hope they will reflect - especially when they are teenagers!  As much as social media is an effective tool in strengthening relationships, it can also lead to their demise.   Be responsible for everything you post, comment or share.  Be responsible on social media usage!  

Enjoy more insights from Joanne Wilson, Relationship Therapist and Psychotherapist at our Relationship Rejuvenator Seminar for couples and singles alike next Wednesday, 15th October here on the Sunshine Coast. 


Call 0499 991 884. RSVP's essential - just click on the image here: