9 Mind Management strategies for FEAR

The Noosa Festival of Surfing commenced on the weekend here with nine whole days of beautiful waves, boards, beaches, and surfing. Now this, is what the Sunshine Coast is all about. I have therefore teamed it with nine hot tips to overcoming your biggest block to deeply connected relationships in this Intimacy Inhibitors series.

This series is designed to rescue you from drowning in the ho-hum boring drum of flat conditions featuring less than fulfilling relationships with unnecessary large reef rocks to enjoying connection and deep love.

If you're methodical like me and need order, click on these previous articles, where I've covered:

• What frequency is your antenna tuned to? 
• Apathy
• Fear

Alongside the endless list of common human fears of sharks, jellyfish and needles in the sand is fear of rejection. It's an invisible phobia that causes us to recoil in horror, shock and sadness that can disable us for months, if not years at a time with devastating effects of being alienated, disappointed and lonely.  This is particularly long-lasting when repeatedly experienced as a child when a decision is subsequently made to avoid relying on others at all costs. Translate this behaviour to an adult intimate relationship and it’s a massive inhibitor to reaching out and enjoying closeness.

What do we do about it? We harness the power of our mind which is fabulously renewable, neuroplastic and fundamentally, changeable! You are not a victim to the tides that come and go to helplessly drift with the unhelpful decisions and beliefs of your past.

Here are your 9 Mind Management strategies for fear:
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1. Check your antenna frequency (refer to the first article in this series)
2. Tune in to your internal newsreel? What fearful words are you speaking into your life when you wake, washing the dishes, driving or surfing?
3. Write them down and consider when and why you bought into any of those toxic thoughts.
4. Write down three decisions you made as a result of these experiences to avoid future pain.
5. Validate your ingenious inherent design to adopt these self-preservation behaviours.
6. Write down three ways these decisions are not helping you enjoy intimacy and true closeness?
7. What three or more feelings do they evoke?
8. Ask yourself the benefit of bravely expressing them to someone?
9. Write down what life-giving, motivating and nurturing words you could be speaking into your life instead and ensure they infiltrate your world.

So drop into these 9 steps to approaching the exhilarating ride of intimacy. It won't always be a perfect 10 and there will be a few wipeouts. Like any new skill, it requires repetition and you'll be stoked with the results.

Joanne Wilson is a neuropsychotherapist, relationship specialist, workshop facilitator and guest speaker. Tune into radio Salt106.5 each Friday morning for her co-host of the Morning Wakeup. Don’t miss more on these articles in her “Is This Love” Podcast and download your FREE relationship resources at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com
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