Ever had a conversation with someone you wish went differently? Ever avoided saying what you really feel because you’re afraid of how they will react? I had the opportunity to present this “gutsy” topic to a College Leadership Group recently so here are our insights from the day. Difficult conversations are conversations with other individuals where there may be differences of opinion or the topic is confronting and life changing. Feelings and emotions potentially run high, and the stakes are large. Such difficult conversations are a natural part of life. It is likely that we will all encounter these situations multiple times during our lives so why not practise refining your approach NOW! Difficult topics could be sex, sexual orientation, masturbation, drugs, alcohol, academic difficulties, mental challenges, getting pregnant or not getting pregnant, work and money. Ways we often find ourselves dealing with Difficult Conversations are to:
What about secrets? People often keep secrets in fear, guilt or shame. These are things we hide and are afraid to have known. Secrets are different to seeking a trusted person to confide in for support. The Disadvantages of keeping certain secrets and NOT having certain conversations that might be difficult are:
We are created “relational” beings, so have courage not to journey alone and take this thoughtful approach to your next Difficult Conversation. Here’s my handy MAP to help to scroll down and navigate your journey to approach Difficult Conversations, entitled “MAP TO BE FOOL PROOF on DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS” – Look forward to your feedback! (Download the PDF from your mobile device or here below from your PC).
What’s your “help-seeking” mentality? Thousands of Australian families have been impacted by fly in fly out (FIFO), drive in drive out (DIDO) and bus in bus out (BIBO) work for at least twenty five years now. This lifestyle involves over 100,000 Australian workers travelling to non-residential based gas, oil and mining operations to work ten to fourteen hour shifts for two to six weeks at a time. Whilst the financial gains from this type of work are substantial, the undesirable impact this type of work is having on individuals, couples, and family units is becoming hard to ignore. A 2013 Federal Inquiry concluded there is widespread concern for the health implications of FIFO work. The research commissioned this year by Lifeline WA (2013) makes a contribution toward knowledge about FIFO, specifically in relation to the mental health of FIFO workers. A key finding being one of the greatest barriers is an adverse “help-seeking” mentality. That is, the stigma associated with asking for help from the Counselling or Mental Health industry. Furthermore,
It’s not ALL bad! Here’s the UPSIDE: - Financial rewards. - Live anywhere. - Extended time off. - Changing jobs is easier with minimal disruption to the family and home life. - Quality time during time off to be with family (especially children). - Easier to schedule meetings/appointments during business hours when at home. - Travel to new locations for jobs. - Meet new people. - Clear separation between personal and work life. - Opportunity to study on-site. - Avoid the rut of standard 9-5 positions. - Maintain regular exercise on the job. - Access to healthy food options on-site. - Accumulate frequent flyer points that can be used on rostered time off. However, FIFO Work can Impact Families in these ways:
Ways FIFO Work Impacts Individuals.
Science Network (2012) also revealed binge drinking and/or recreational drug use and poor diet with subsequent obesity is a common feature of the FIFO lifestyle. This week marked World Suicide Prevention Day where “Beyond Blue” announced new support training initiatives in male dominated work places on the back of this information from the Australian Bureau of Statistics:
The Lifeline WA (2013) research suggested that issues might be addressed within pre-FIFO employment training addressing:·
Furthermore, FIFO workers were unlikely to access support services during times of personal stress. There is a clear need for ongoing support services to reduce the stigma associated with mental health and help-seeking. We need to increase mental health literacy, promote effective coping, self-efficacy and self-care. If you are experiencing coping difficulties, or your relationships are starting to suffer as a result of fly in fly out or similar work, please contact Jo Wilson, TheConfidante on 0499991884 or jo@theconfidantecounselling.com to further discuss your concerns. Personal face to face sessions are preferable however Skype, Iphone Facetime or telephone appointments are welcome. In the meantime, enjoy our FIFO/DIDO/BIBO Support Series on Facebook commencing this month! Have you LIKED? https://www.facebook.com/TheConfidanteCounselling |
Joanne WilsonJoanne will be your Confidante, enabling you to speak freely in complete confidence and serenity. An integrated approach tailored to your specific needs will be utilised.
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Joanne will be your Confidante, enabling you to speak freely in complete confidence and serenity. An integrated approach tailored to your specific needs will be utilized. Approaches such as Psychobiological Approach to Couple's Therapy (PACT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy may be incorporated.
Joanne WilsonRelationship Specialist for individuals and Couples online around the world and servicing areas for virtual sessions around Australia and servicing many clients in Queensland including Caloundra, Noosa, Noosaville, Buderim, Mountain Creek, Gympie.
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